By The Athlete Place

We've all seen it. The over-the-top parent on the touchline, "coaching" their child from the stands with zero knowledge and maximum volume. It comes from a good place, almost always. But is it actually helping?

Research says: not always.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Multiple studies have found that parental behaviour at competitions directly affects a young athlete's enjoyment, motivation and even their likelihood of staying in sport long-term. When athletes feel pressure from their parents, their motivation drops, and they enjoy their sport less.

The problem? Most parents causing this pressure have absolutely no idea they're doing it.

Research suggests that excessive parental involvement creates pressure on children, who would actually prefer parental participation characterised by praise and understanding. In other words, the thing your child wants most from you is probably simpler than you think.

What Your Child Actually Wants

A landmark study asked 42 young tennis players, aged 12 to 15, how they wanted their parents to behave during competition. One dominant theme emerged: the players wanted their parents to be involved and supportive, preferring encouraging comments about their attitude and effort over pressure to perform and succeed. (1)

The same study also found that during competitions, youth athletes want parents to encourage the entire team and focus on effort rather than outcomes. They did not want parents to coach from the sidelines, argue with officials, or engage in behaviour that would draw attention to themselves or their child

Simple. But not always easy.

How to Support Your Child at Competitions

The best place to start? Just ask them.

I did this with Joe. His answer: "What shouting? I can't hear anything when I'm racing." Which was simultaneously reassuring and slightly mortifying when we watched the race videos back. So I stopped. Problem solved.

Some children love vocal, visible support. For others, it genuinely causes embarrassment and anxiety. You know your child best, but don't assume. Ask them directly what they want from you at competitions, and be ready for an honest answer.

A few things the research consistently backs up:

• Focus on effort, not outcome. Praise how hard they worked, not just whether they won
  
  

• Cheer for other athletes too. Youth athletes report greater enjoyment and motivation when their parents encourage and congratulate other children, not just their own (2).
  
  

• Stay calm after a loss. After a competition, many simply needed space before they were ready to talk. The car ride home is often not the moment for a debrief
  
  

• Respect the officials. Even when the call is wrong. Visibly disputing decisions teaches your child that rules are optional when you disagree with them.
  
  
  

Can Too Much Support Do Damage?

Yes, it can. Parents can inadvertently set a child up for failure by establishing unrealistic performance expectations or pushing a young athlete to compete beyond their readiness and interest, leading to a loss of confidence and motivation.

There is also a social dimension that's easy to overlook. The child on the receiving end of over-the-top public support often experiences visible embarrassment in front of their peers. That kind of repeated social discomfort can affect confidence well beyond competition day.

A 2023 systematic review confirmed that positive parental involvement behaviours, including support, praise and understanding, promote positive motivational outcomes in young athletes, while controlling or pressure-driven behaviours consistently do the opposite. (3)

The Line You Cannot Cross

Disappointment in sport is inevitable. Questionable refereeing decisions are inevitable. What's not inevitable is how you respond.

Angry parental outbursts in front of a young athlete can cause genuine anxiety and embarrassment, and the damage lingers. Your child and their peers will remember. More practically, you'll likely be facing the same parents and athletes at the next competition. First impressions at competitions stick.

Blaming officials, coaches, or other players for a poor result teaches children a lack of accountability. They stop looking at what they could have done differently and lose the ability to learn from mistakes. That's a high long-term cost for a moment of sideline frustration.

The Bottom Line

Being a brilliant sports parent isn't about being louder or more visible. It's about reading your child's actual needs and adjusting accordingly. Sometimes that means cheering hard. Sometimes it means standing quietly and just being there.

The research is clear: moderate, consistent, supportive involvement is the most beneficial approach to parenting a young athlete, particularly at sub-elite and elite levels.

Last updated April 2026

References

(1) Knight, C.J., Neely, K.C. and Holt, N.L. (2010). Parental behaviors in youth sport: the athlete's perspective. Qualitative Research in Sport and Exercise, 2(2), pp.229–248.

(2) Harwood, C.G., Knight, C.J., Thrower, S.N. and Berrow, S.R. (2019). Advancing the study of parental involvement to optimise the psychosocial development and experiences of young athletes. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 42, pp.66–73.

(3) Gao, Z., Chee, C.S., Norjali Wazir, M.R.W., Wang, J., Zheng, X. and Wang, T. (2024). The role of parents in the motivation of young athletes: a systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14.

Also worth reading:

5 Ways to Improve Your Teenager's Sports Performance

Sports Nutrition Basics for Parents of Teenage Athletes

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